


Jesus Loves Punk Rock

by thevenusflytrap



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Music, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm sorry it's so bad, Implied Sexual Content, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Might add more tags later, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Other, Piercings, Tattoos, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, church choir vs punk band, first fic, for this big presentation, gabriel hates green day, rehearsals don't go well, they get along eventually, they need to share the same venue, tw cutting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-09-25 21:19:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20378278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevenusflytrap/pseuds/thevenusflytrap
Summary: "Hey! The church is three blocks down the road!" - They stepped on stage, staff (who looked just as rebelious) following right behind."Excuse you?" Gabriel got closer to them, revealing the ridiculous height difference. "We ARE the church".





	1. We Start With Stars In Our Eyes - Then They Fall

A small group of teens jumped out of a white van, all wearing exactly the same outfit. It was black with white details and they all had a simple and well tied black tie around their necks. Around their necks were also basic, yet detailed chaplets that ranged from a variety of colors. The girls all had their natural colored hairs tied back in tidy ponytails, and the boys had at least a little bit of gel on their bangs to prevent them from falling onto their foreheads.   
After they were all out of the vehicle, four adults jumped out and closed the door. Three of them were wearing a shirt with the word "Staff" imprinted into bold white font on their backs, and the other was dressed like any generic priest would be dressed, bible in hand and all.  
Two of the staff members carried packs of bottled water and rushed after the youths of the choir, leaving only the priest and the short white-haired man that took care of the sound check.   
"I can't believe we have less than a month until our presentation! Time passes so quickly!" - The man had a file filled with hundreds of papers that he calmly flicked through.  
"You're right Aziraphale." - The priest glanced at the pages of information about the youths that his brother held - "The kids really worked hard this year."  
They caught up with the group that chilled on stage waiting for the start of the reharsal. Gabriel got on stage and began on instructing the teens about their positions and handed out water to everyone that seemed tired, which were a lot of them considering it was still 7AM on a Sunday.  
Everything was working out perfectly, Aziraphale was almost done setting up the chords and syncing the microphones of the kids and everyone was in their right place. Gabriel was about to sing the opening line when a small figure entered the venue.   
They had short unsymmetrical cut black hair, at least 5 piercings in their face, a pentagram t-shirt ('repulsive', Gabriel thought) with a turtleneck striped long shirt underneath and simple black ripped jeans with chains. They held a Mc'Donald's cup in hand and took a sip, revealing their toung piercing and some sort of lip tattoo, with a very confuded look in their face.  
They would look threatening, were it not for their height.  
"Hey! The church is three blocks down the road!" - They stepped on stage, staff (who looked just as rebelious) following right behind.  
"Excuse you?" Gabriel got closer to them, revealing the ridiculous height difference. "We ARE the church".   
"Whatever" Beez ran a hand through their hair and sighed. "They didn't tell uzz we had to share a venue with Jesuzz"  
The kids on stage displayed an array of emotions. Some seemed disgusted, others scared and one or two secret MCR fans had sparkling eyes. Meanwhile the emo's staff organized the instruments on stage. Gabriel couldn't stop starring at the huge fly tattoo on the other's hand. Must've hurt.

"Excuse us." Aziraphale had just got done with the chords when three people entered the backstage section. Two had instruments - if you count drumming sticks as instruments that is - and the other still had his sunglasses and jacket on. The jacket had a rose patch with the words "Staff - Hell's Angels" in golden gothic font.  
"O-Oh sure! I was just getting done with our microphone settings" The two musicians clearly weren't interested in the technical part and went straight ahead to the dressing-room.  
"No worries about it. Our boss just hates when we're late" He then started testing the colorful stage lights. "Guess they didn't tell we were sharing" He added.  
"Oh no. Definetally not. If father knew we were going to share the venue with a punk band he would have freaked out and moved everyone to another state." He giggled a little remembering how much his brother absolutely despised popular punk rock bands that would often play on the radio. At this moment he seemed to be having an argument with a short young-adult. It's going to be a long day.  
"Not that surprising, honestly." Aziraphale questioned how the red head managed to do everything still with his sunglasses on. The man noticed and added: "Force of habit honestly. Made a bad decision one time when I was drunk and now I must deal with it".  
Aziraphale nodded, pretending not to think of what bad decisions people make at parties.  
"I'm Aziraphale." He extended his hand, waiting for the other to shake it.  
"My artistic name's Crowley." He shook the other man's hand. "Like the writer."  
"Right." He had no idea what writer he was talking about.

"So what you're telling me..." Gabriel began, the kids were now all off stage, some happy that they didn't have to rehearse this Sunday. "Is that in the contract there was some sort of fine print that explained both of us must share the stage."  
"Yep." They took another sip of their soda.  
"And that we, the Heaven's Gate United Church, must rehearse at the same time as your punk band."  
"It'zz called Hell's Angelzz and yezz."  
"No way! I'm not letting my kids hear your satanic music" Gabriel crossed his arms.  
"Too fucking bad 'cauzze we're not leaving" They took the last sip, satisfied as the straw made a succion loud noise.  
The priest rolled his eyes, starting to get irritated by the frequent buzzing. "Watch your language, there's minors around."  
"Make me." They smiled revealing their sharp canines, turned around and went straight to the dressing-room.

Unbenounced to the other kids who stepped back on stage after the punk singer left, Adam quietly slipped backstage, his heart beating fast with antecipation. The boy followed Beelzebub to the dressing-room, and waited a few minutes before knocking on the door.  
The singer opened it, with a confused look on their face.  
"Hi?"  
"You're Beelzebub from Hell's Angels, right? I'm a huuuuuge fan!"  
Beez smiled, this time non-ironically  
"I see... One of the kidzz actually hazz good taste in muzzic."  
"I have all of your CD's! And I love your covers!" The boy took a long breath. "Could you maybe autograph, um, the back of my choir attire?" Adam handed them a black sharpie  
"Rebeliouzz, I like it." Beelzebub held the sharpie in their hand and opened the pen with their mouth as the boy turned around. They signed in a quick yet elegant manner, and as they were done they called their bandmates to come sign the boy's attire.   
"Hastur! Ligur! Come here, we have a fan!"   
The bassist and drummer left the dressing-room holding beers.   
"Sick! Finally someone with common sense!" Hastur proclaimed excitedly while Ligur signed. Then he signed, making sure it was a pretty big signature.  
"Thank you so much!" Adam exclaimed   
"No problem." They all replied at the same time.  
"I have to go now, or Gabriel will be mad." Adam turned around to leave.  
"Hey kid!" Beelzebub screamed to call the boy's attention.  
"Yes?"  
"Break a leg" The three of them then got back inside.


	2. Sweethearts Are Sold In Vending Machines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done! This took forever.  
Thank you to my new co-writer/betareader (ik you're reading this) for the immense help!
> 
> Read till the end, you'll understand the title.

Adam slipped back in his front row and suddenly the aerie Latin song, composed by multiple layered voices stopped.   
"Where in the world were you?" a concerned Gabriel asked. He had sent both Uriel and Michael after the boy and the two of them reported not finding Adam.  
"I was, um, looking for the bathroom Father." He firmly pressed his back against the wall to hide the autographs.  
The priest couldn't find and excuses to doubt the boy, so he finally sighed, a little happy that the punk band hadn't murdered him on his way to the restroom. "Alright. But please don't get lost like this again. From zero everyone."  
Phew. That was close. 

If you were to get members of the high society of the 18th century to watch the current rehearsal they would be extremely impressed. It would probably have the same effect on a proud soccer - well choir - mom who would record the full thing and make sure to put her phone as high as possible to block the view from everyone else.   
The punk rock band wasn't nearly as impressed, however. 

Beelzebub covered their ears in despair. The drummer and bassist shared earbuds.

"Why Latin? And why must they be so fucking loud?!" Beelzebub looked around the backstage room, finding an unsuspecting beer glass on the floor.

"HASTUR! I TOLD YOU TO PUT ALL THE GLASSEZZ AWAY." A high note was hit outside by more than a hundred kids. 

"I can pick it up now" The bassist slowly got up but the drummer pulled him down.

"It's too late now. We can always buy more, there's a Target next to the hotel." 

On stage the kids proudly displayed their vocals and basic Latin knowledge. Father Gabriel smiled, turning to Uriel.  
"Once they" His voice was filled with poison as he mentioned the band. "Get on stage, leave with the kids. I'll text you once it's over."   
The staff member nodded.

"Wait wait wait. You're telling me you've actually never heard of Queen?" 

"You told me it's a band correct? No, my boss won't let us get near stuff like that."

"That sucks! My boss is chill with those sorts of things, but they can be very… unpredictable."

"Oh dear, I hope Gabriel won't get into fights…"

The redhead considered for a second before handing the other man a card with all of his info. 

"If you ever have issues just text me ok?"

Aziraphale blushed, firmly holding the business card in his hand.

"O-of course!"

"Teszsting, 1,2,3." Beelzebub lightly tapped the microphone twice. "We good?" Crowley gave a thumbs up from backstage.

They tested the electric guitar and smiled as it cry echoed.

"1,2,3,4!"  
All the instruments began playing in symphony, creating a strong melody.

"I'm the sson of rage and love. The Jesus of Ssuburbia." Their voice sounded a little softer when they sang, but you could still lightly hear the 'mispronunciation' of certain words.

Beelzebub had picked this song for the audio testing for mostly two reasons. The first one had been sort of obvious, the meaning behind the lyrics. The other one wasn't as easy to explain.  
The song they picked was 9 minutes long. They could have picked many other songs with religious mocking lyrics that barely reached the 4-minute mark, but they picked this one.  
They wanted Gabriel near for a longer time. Not in a crush way, of course not, they didn’t feel that way toward him. They wanted him to suffer longer.

"From the bible of none of the above. On a ssteady diet of" They strummed the instrument to calm their rage.

"Ssoda pop and Ritalin. No one ever died for my ssins in hell, as far as I can tell. At leasst the ones I got away with"  
Beez’s voice cried. They meant every word.

"And there'ss nothing wrong with me, this iss how I'm sssupposed to be!"  
Every single word. Yet the priest who scrolled through Facebook didn't seem to notice a thing.

~

Beelzebub had just finished applying their second layer of sunscreen and finally felt ready to leave the hotel room. They had put on a one-piece bathing suit to conform to society's pool-wear norms but just gave up after a few seconds, throwing on a guns and roses shirt on top and a pair of shorts, making sure to also put thick bracelets on their arms. It was too hot to wear long sleeves at the pool but those should help just as well. They had neatly placed a black beach hat on their head and kept the makeup to a simple cat eyeliner and some blush.

In the elevator, however, they started to feel their stomach rumble. Beelzebub patted their pockets just realizing they had forgotten their haribos, but still had some coins. At this point it was easier to buy some new snacks. As the elevator door they heard teens screaming.

Beelzebub did their best to ignore it and just went for the vending machine in the corner.

They ran their eyes quickly looking for someone good to eat. Finally, they picked a small bag of BBQ Lays. They inserted the coins in the slot and pushed the buttons praying it wouldn't get stuck on the machine.  
As the bag fell down, and they bent over to grab it, Beelzebub felt someone approach them, which firstly creeped them out a lot.  
Then they shook it off as one of the other guests who was probably just waiting for them to leave to use the machine.

"I was going to buy something but looks like I found a snack outside the machine" the smug voice behind them said.  
Beelzebub giggled not thinking much of it. Then they recognized the voice.  
They turned around slowly with a petrified look on their face.   
Gabriel's face went from a smile to a shocked expression accompanied of a red blush plastered onto his face.

"I, um, thought you were someone else" The priest was now dressed in a more normal manner, yet still very tidy. 

"Oh." Was all the singer could form into words, their body full of anxiety and embarrassment. 

The both of them stood in silence for a few seconds.

"I- H-Hastur needs me, um, pool" Beelzebub was already walking away hastily.

"Oh, yeah! I need to go too" Gabriel was also speeding away in the opposite direction.


End file.
